Lately God has been showing me that I don’t ALWAYS have to have it all together, ALL the time! I’m not perfect & never will be. There is one major factor that is preventing me from that… I’m human.
Why are we always striving to be perfect in so many areas of life? In our jobs, when working out, in our friendships, in holding our family together, in the way we view our bodies (women in particular) Showing we are independent, showing no weakness; that we can ultimately do it ourselves, that “We’ve got it” and don’t need help.
Why are we so insecure about the way we look, too thin, too tall, too fat, too thick. We constantly feel that we are never good enough. When will we be good enough? When will we be content with the way God made us?
I have been reading captivating over the last couple of weeks and it talks a lot about how over the years women have been made to feel that we are “too much to handle” or “too emotional” so we tuck it away and hide it and act like we are like men. God designed us as WOMEN for a reason. He designed us after His own heart, we shouldn’t hide that side of us.
I was thinking back to when I was growing up. I had two older brothers, 7 & 10 yrs older! I always wanted to be like them, tough, strong & unemotional! If I ever cried my brother would tell me to suck it up and stop being a baby! So it conditioned me to think that it was a bad thing, & that I shouldn’t let people see me vulnerable or that I care, or even to show any type of emotion. Otherwise I’m being a typical weak, emotional “too much to handle” girl! Who wants to be that?!
Having two brothers, I didn’t want to be seen that way. I wanted to hang with the boys. To this day I still get called a “guys girl” which, to some extent, I like & some, I don’t. I feel that if I show any sign of emotion or “I can’t do this myself” then I am showing weakness…and that’s not acceptable (In my wrong thinking)
I realized a while ago, when I first became a Christian, that I walk around with a hard exterior, like I have it all together, all the time. The reason being, I’m too afraid of people seeing my soppy, squishy middle (and I’m not talking about my waist!) I mean, my soft, womanly, emotional side. During my walk with Christ I’m being shown that it’s OK to be a woman and not have it ALL together, ALL the time! I’m not perfect, as much as I strive to be! I wear myself out because I will never get there. A friend recently relayed some of his teachings he learned from someone else.
“THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PERFECTIONISM & EXCELLENCE”
Perfectionism = Striving for unattainable goals & no matter what you do it will never be good enough. Always try to live up to some illusion that is continually out of reach.
Excellence = Identifying the results you wish to attain & then set realistic goals to achieve them. Strive to be the best you can be while reaching them, one step at a time.
I’m not saying don’t have high expectations or goals; you need to have those high enough that it drives you to succeed. But as I am learning, don’t set them so high that you never reach them or when you do you start trash talking yourself because it all of a sudden wasn’t good enough. Most of us do it. It’s a natural human tendency. We need to learn to go against the grain and start to analyze our thoughts. Then turn them around to something positive.
A friend taught me to set 3 – 5 things to do with excellence for the day. Be the best you can be at those things. When you complete those, relax! Keep a healthy balance.
This is something I am learning at the moment. I have struggled for a long time with perfectionism because I always want to be the best I can at everything I do…and I can, but with excellence, not perfection!
I’m ready for God to work this out of me!!
He made me uniquely just the way I am… I want to be at a point where I can honestly say “I am comfortable with the way I look, I am OK with showing weakness, I will be content when I reach my 3-5 goals for the day” That day is close!
I am thankful for the body God gave me… I will be all that He designed me to be!
Psalm 139:13-16
13For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother's womb.
14I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
15My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
16Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.
This is the body God graciously GAVE you to do His work with. It doesn’t matter what you look like, just that you take the best care of you body, look after it, treat it well, and honor it, with excellence. What matters is the soul that’s inside of it. Spend the majority of your time on that. That is where you will grow, be stretched, be challenged & become a true man/woman of God. When you have a healthy Soul, it will show on the outside. I once heard, “You can’t do Gods work if you don’t take care of Gods work!”
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