Guard your heart… it's not what you think.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." ~ Proverbs 4:23

Often you hear people tell you to "Guard your heart" when in a relationship or a certain situation. Although they mean well and are basically telling you to be wise and protect yourself. I disagree... I want to come at it from a different angle.

If we are to be as Jesus is, to live selflessly, for HIM to love others as these verses state:
"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friend." (John 15:13)

"Whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life will find it" (Matthew 16:25)  

"Trust in the Lord with ALL our heart, lean not on our OWN understanding" (Proverbs 3:5)

 Or even "The Lord keeps you from all harm, He will watch over your life." (Psalm 121:7)

Then why would He want US to protect OURSELVES? That is not our job. That would mean His word is contradicting itself. He would not tell us to lay our lives down, or to trust Him to protect us, AND to protect ourselves. It's a vulnerable place to trust someone else to protect us. And His word above is for sure backwards of the way the world does things. In the world WE are our only hope, and WE have to make things happen, protect ourselves, direct our own path, and stand up for what we want. But if WE do it, it's all in OUR might, all in OUR ability and all up to us! That's a lot of pressure.

I believe that when He tells us to guard our hearts He means "Guard it from being corrupted." I read that in a friends blog years ago and I never fully grasped what it actually meant. It has only been recently, through my own walk with Jesus that He has been showing me how stable I can be when standing on His word, and how I waiver with fear when I don't.

I believe that He wants us to guard our hearts, yes…but not from being hurt or broken. I believe He wants us to guard our hearts from DOUBT, from UNBELIEF, from SADNESS, from SUSPICION.

Because what we take IN, will manifest itself inside of us and eventually flow OUT.

 It will affect everything we do! As I read in this blog many years back … "Sometimes guarding your heart means allowing it to be broken." That's a tough thing to swallow. Jesus wants to take us places our fears won't let us go… a place where we have to cling so tightly to Him because we can't get through it without Him. If we PROTECT our hearts from unknown, potentially frightening places, we won't follow Him to where He wants us to go.

When God brings us into a situation that can sometimes be painful, our wordily view is to get out. It's up to us to make our decisions and remove ourselves from the situation. Well, sometimes that doesn't work, and God has you right where you are for a purpose. In those times He is training you to walk by FAITH and not by SIGHT. He is teaching you to see with your spiritual eyes what He promised, even though the reality looks nothing like it. He is reminding you to trust HIM, not the circumstance or the person. He is wanting you to practice guarding your heart from unbelief and continuing to believe for the miracle. He wants you to learn that when everything around you looks nothing like what He has spoken to you, that is your que to speak words of life & faith to yourself. Bust out the thanksgiving for all He is doing in your life, even the things you cannot see. His word tells us that when we pray, HE HEARS US "And since we know He hears us when we make requests, we also know that He will give us what we ask for." 1 John 5:15 and that He gives us whatever we wish "If you remain in me, and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." John 15:7

So knowing that He has heard us, and He plans to give us what we ask for… we need to guard our hearts from doubt and THANK HIM in the meantime! Because He is a faithful God. Thank Him for how HE is going to work it out. Be expectant and watchful for that seed to manifest in your life. "Now faith is confidence in what we HOPE FOR and assurance of what we DO NOT SEE." Hebrews 11:1

He tells us what to do when we are living in the middle of a promise. Our job is to respond by walking it out.

We waiver when we try to take things into our own hands and protect ourselves. I am writing this blog as much for me as I am anybody else. I struggle with this TREMENDOUSLY. Which is where this blog got birthed from.
His word also says:

"But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." ~ James 1:6

I don't want that kind of faith. I have lived too long wavering back and forth, it's exhausting. I want the kind of faith that is stable, steadfast and strong. I can only have that when I guard my heart from unbelief, doubt and anything that contradicts what God says in His word.

The world will tell you you need to make it happen yourself. God will tell you to trust Him, abide and let Him do it. That's called surrender.

Trust Him, He will lead you in the right way, and your job is to respond in a Godly manner.

What God taught me in 2014

This is a follow up of the previous blogpost. The first post was a rundown of what I studied & favorite things I tried to implement in my life last year (& still hope to this year)… this is all God taught me through it!

He taught me:

- How to rest not only externally but internally.

- That I have responsibility, not control. (response-ability, the ability to respond.)

- How to fight fear with faith!

- That I have the power to CHOOSE to speak life and control my thoughts!

- How to not entertain worry and negative thought patterns but to fill my mind with His words.

- That I don't have to indulge the flesh and feelings don't have to dictate my actions.

- That the words I speak will come back to me with something.

- How to have peace and be content no matter the situation.

- To trust Him.

- That He has my best interest at heart.

- That He is in the details.

- That I may fail and will need the grace that I don't always give to others!

- To not let my SELF get angry or bitter because it doesn't get it's way.

- To EMBRACE MY PLACE and be in the moment!

- To focus on Him- WHAT I FOCUS ON EXPANDS.

- To believe the best in others, to trust rather than to be suspicious.

- That people are sometimes deceived and to hate the SIN not the SINNER.

- To not respond out of my fear. To take time to see what He says about it.

- Not to fear the unknown. He is still there.

- That He will give me the wisdom to handle any situation.

- How to make great decisions based on His word.

- To WAIT and be patient.

- To pray, even when I don't feel like it.

- To CHOOSE joy.

- How to love someone without taking what they do personal.

- How to respond out of wisdom and not emotion. (still not perfect at it though!)

- How to forgive.

- How to speak truth and share my concerns.

- That it's not my job to PROTECT myself, "Whoever lies down their life finds it"

- That He is the God of justice and He will take care of it.

- How to let others make their own choices and not try to control.

- That I find peace when I let go and give people, fears & struggles into His possession. 

- To love and respect, even when it's not deserved. Because it comes from HIM not me. And once I receive it from Him, I can then give it to others.

- That I cannot give what I have not been given.

- That I am to get my needs met from Him, not others.

- That I am to give without expectations of receiving. 

- That I need not fear deception because He will reveal to me what needs to be revealed in the right time and He will give me the appropriate response in the right time. I need not worry and waste time on what MIGHT happen.

- That "Guarding my heart" does not mean to guard it from being broken by protecting it. It means guard it from being corrupted, from doubt, from fear, from unbelief. As everything that flows FROM it will direct your actions. 

2014 Reflection

In 2013 I took a challenge from somebody to study 2 words a month in 2014 for 11 out of 12 months.

I was to choose two words that I struggled with, was weak in, or that I wanted to learn to grow in a particular area. One was to be an internal weakness, and one was to be an external weakness.

I took the last few months of 2013 to plan and prepare for what materials I would use to accomplish this. Podcasts, books, and scriptures that all applied to the words I chose.  So that all of 2014 could be dedicated to study time. And for once in my life, I actually finished something I started!

So to reflect on 2014 I will somehow scrunch some of the most impactful things I learned last year, into todays blog! These are all my favorite things from the resources I studied. I hope they can be beneficial to you as you start this New Year! 

January:  Trust & Rest

(Studied from Graham Cooke & Andy Stanley)

“You can CHOOSE to place trust in gap between what you SEE & what you EXPERIENCE. “

“When you fill the gap with anything other than trust, it erodes.”

“ You cannot have TRUST without REST, or REST, without TRUST.“

“You can’t trust in the Lord and be anxious, one of them has to go.”

“Rest is a major part of renewal.”

“Rest allows you to see the provision of God through the problem that is present.”

“God always has an agenda in your rest. So that you can overcome, or believe Him for something.”

February: Expectations & Control

 (Studied from Steven Furtick & Lisa Bevere)

“ I have a RESPONSIBILITY & that’s the ABILITY TO RESPOND.“

“It is fallacy to believe that by studying our past we can prevent it. Looking at our past does not guarantee our future…it prevents it.” (Lisa Bevere)

“Even when we think we have figured out the plan, God never does what we expect. In reality, He always does more.”

“It’s now your choice to believe or remain bound.”

“Expectation leads to INVITATION, PREPERATION, & PERSPIRATION.”

“Between what you EXPECT & what you EXPERIENCE is the frustration gap, place trust there and let God fill the gap.” 

“Don’t lower your expectations, raise them up to what GOD can do. Doubt and fear in your heart, but still digging because you trust God.” 

“When parts of my heart or life don’t tend to measure up to my EXPECTATIONS, I tend to hide them. But what if someone would be blessed by what I have to share and they miss out because I hide it?”

March: Identity & Authenticity

“There is a difference between GROWTH & PERFECTION.“

PERFECTION is all or nothing.

GROWTH is little by little.

PERFECTION is all about the goal.

GROWTH is more about the journey.

PERFECTION is about outward appearances.

GROWTH is about what happens on the inside.

PERFECTION is about what we do,

GROWTH is about who we’re becoming.

“True confidence leads to service, insecurity turns inward.”

“Accountability to one another is healthy and helpful. When we are regularly accountable, we’re less likely to stumble, more likely to see truth accurately, and less likely to get away with sinful and unwise actions.”

“Qualities to look for in accountability: VULNERABILITY, TEACHABILITY, AVAILABILITY, AND HONESTY.

“Being authentic in your relationship with Christ, helps you to be authentic in your relationships with people.”

“What is your aim in life? AUTHENTICITY? Or ACCEPTANCE?”

“If we only change our habits and not our hearts, we will find ourselves living unauthentically and it’s not sustainable.”

“Be faithful. Stay focused. Trust in the Lord.”

April: Love & Selflessness

“Suffering is having to endure what we very much don’t want to have to endure… rejoice in it.”

“Love suffers long, but your natural inclination is to cut it short.“

“God loves people that He KNOWS will never love Him.”

“It is not my place to judge, but to LOVE with what He has given me. & When I love others, I love Him.”

“He does everything in love, even the tough stuff. He has my best interest at heart and His heart doesn’t expect anything in return when He loves me.”

“He is committed to me, passionate about me and shares in the same intimate details of my life-even when I am not focused on him.”

 “Love without reservation, Love without expectation, Love with passion and intimacy. “

“When we push for our own rights rather than lay them down, it becomes a competition and battle ground rather than a place of peace and healing.”

“Love others in obedience to Christ, not because they deserve it.”

“When you are looking at someone else to meet your needs, you are self-focused, which always leads to dissatisfaction.”

“Agape love is born of divine strength. It has the power to be creatively weak. It is not driven by need so it has the power to wait.”

“Agape love finds goodness in living while we are victims of situations we despise.”

“No circumstance, past, present, future, can rob you of your joy or control your life. Unless you give it the power to.”

“There is one thing that can rob you of your joy: Selfishness.” 

“Guard your heart does not mean guard it from being hurt and to protect it from all outside sources. It means guard it from doubt, unbelief and what responses come out of it. Because that will ultimately guide your steps.”

“Any struggle is designed to show your heart. What you really are, what you really love, and what you really want.”

May: Worth & Leadership

“Self accepting people do not base their worth on the opinions and moods of those around them.“

Making a good impression shrinks compared to making a difference for someone else.”

“While you are UNWORTHY to receive His grace & mercy, you are certainly not worthless.”

“Low self esteem is a form of self centeredness”

“Low self esteem is a place of pain and when you are in pain you are too focused on yourself to adequately give to others.”

 “Self acceptance is viewing yourself the way God views you.”

“Never say someone’s ‘NO’ for them.”

“The more confidently you do it, the better off everyone will be.”

“You are a hand or a foot- part of the body. You cant be more than one or both… you were designed to fulfill the purpose of being one and being that to the best of your ability.“

June: Fear & Emotions

 (Studied from Lysa TerKuerst, Steven fur tick & others)

“TAKE YOUR THOUGHTS CAPTIVE.”

“Choose FAITH instead of FEAR.”

“Filter any thought through Gods filter- Philippians 4:8-9”

“Because my fears were familiar, I trusted them more than I trusted God.”

“Trust Gods plan.”

“God says ‘I am going places your fears won’t let you go, and I want you to come with me.’”

“you will only get stronger by PUSHING through your fear, not getting it out of your life.”

“The root of fear is REJECTION, LOSS, FAILURE, OR THE UNKNOWN.”

“The Israelites forsook Gods promises to embrace their fears. They placed faith in their fears. In doing so they chose the devils lies over Gods truth. Instead of inheriting the promises, they inherited their fears.“

“ Fear is only empowered to the degree we yield to its deception.“

“Fear must be EVICTED.”

“The battle of fear is waged in our minds.”

“Fear questions, distorts, and undermines what God says.”

“when we are confused, we are unstable.”

“God gave me emotions to experience life, not destroy it.” (Lysa Terkeurst)

“I can face things out of my control and not act out of control.”

“We don’t develop new responses until we develop new thoughts.”

“Emotions are good INDICATORS but not good DICTATORS.”

“To that which you give your energy EXPANDS.”

"You experience your perspective." (From God to me)

July: Failure & Communication 

(Studied from John Maxwell & Clayton King)

“Fail fast & forget about it.“

“ Linger on the lesson, don’t fixate on the failure.“

“Just because you mess up, doesn’t mean you give up.”

“There is NO achievement without failure.”

“Failure Is not final.”

“With empathy, acknowledge the rights and feelings of others & listen.”

Messages that we speak have 3 parts:

Verbal 7%

Vocal 38%

Visual 55%

“I am only responsible for me. Use “I” statements, not “you” statements.”

“Perspectives between men and women are different. Not right or wrong, just different.”

“Truth defeats the lies we believe.”

“Empty spaces beg to be filled…what are you filling them with?”

“Communicating your feelings can be tough when you feel stuck. Stuckness makes you feel incompetent with words.”

“I can make good choices that lead to healthy responses.”

“We can never get so secure in ourselves that we can never be moved.”

“Confronting someone is hard, and the risk of discovering something worse than you suspect can be enough to paralyze you until the whole relationship goes up in smoke. The alternative to practicing what scripture calls “speaking truth in love” is continuing to communicate a lie in fear. That’s no way to live.”

August: Acceptance & Voice

“ If we use silence as self-protection, as a way to avoid confrontation or hard decisions, we do not glorify God.“

“Our silence will only create spiritual defeat within us.“

“Don’t sacrifice yourself in order to maintain a relationship.”

When we fully understand that God accepts us, we don’t are seek acceptance from others.

“The act of acceptance is a choice.”

“Identify your trigger responses & warning signs. Irrational thoughts, fast heart beat, laser focus, fear? Because you can’t have smart, difficult conversations when you are being “triggered” your brain doesn’t think logically, you are in your “Responsive” state. So have an emergency response strategy for when you are caught off guard.”  

“You get to choose what you say, does it speak truth & life? “

“What someone else does is a reflection of THEIR heart, not yours.”

“Happiness is a symptom of circumstance, Joy is a product of perspective.” (Steven Furtick)

September: Joy & words

“Joy is an internal state of contentment not matter the circumstance.“

“Death & life are in the power of the tongue.“

“John 6:53 clearly shows us that if we speak the words that Jesus spoke then we are speaking life into existence. The words we speak produce spiritual results.”

“In Isaiah 55:11 it says that are words do not come back to us void & they accomplish what they set out to do…which means they are coming back to us and bringing with them what they set out to do… what do you want them to bring back to you?”

“Your words effect your body…are you bringing health to your body?”

“What comes out of your mouth is what you believe.”

“Only god can give us joy in the midst of uncertainty. Only God can give us joy in the midst of defeat. Only God can give us joy in the midst of sadness.”

“Gracious words are like honey to the body and soul. Destructive words can ruin your health.”

October: Safety/Security & forgiveness

“By foolishly trying to build security and structure, I had inadvertently torn it down.“ (Lisa Bevere)

“Do you know what we often do when we don’t feel safe? We try to construct elaborate systems of law and requirements so that we know what to expect and so that we feel in control.”

“ Whatever you rehearse in your mind will eventually seep into your heart as a belief.”

“Respond to God instead of reacting to people.”

“In order for me to really want to GO, something has to happen to make me want to leave where I am.”

“Your security and safety is in Him, not other people or certain situations. Learn to trust God even when you don’t see or understand.”

“Trust God to protect you when you choose to lay down your rights and forgive.” 

“Jesus will test you to teach you.”

“Forgiveness is NOT weakness. IT is the ultimate portal to Christ.”

“Forgiveness is the operating system of Christianity.”

“Overcome evil with good.”

“An un-Christ like response would be to flee the whole mess, severing relationships and refusing to forgive.”

November: Lust & Confrontation

“Lust is an emotion or feeling of intense desire in the body.“

“Does not have to be sexual to be lust…could be a lust for knowledge, a lust for power, a lust for a different life, a lust for food.“

“Confrontation is to speak the truth in love. It is a spirit-led confrontation where it is vital to tell the truth so others can live in God’s reality rather than personal illusion.”

“focus on the issue, don’t attack the person.”

“God doesn’t tell you to FIGHT or RESIST sexual temptation like he tells you with other temptations.  He tells you to FLEE. Flee from anything that will harm your purity.”

“You are giving the person the right to their feelings and perceptions as their personal realities. When you listen, your support enhances their dignity, even when you don’t agree.”

“Differences can be opportunities to exercise submission to one another.”

We ALL need to be heard, loved, understood & accepted.