Pregnant with desire

I was reading Captivating today and there was a section that caught my attention. It said:

“The waiting does not diminish us. As a pregnant woman is enlarged in her waiting, so are our hearts. God does not always give us what we so desperately want, when we want it. He is after something much more valuable than our happiness. He is restoring & growing in us an eternal weight of glory.”

It got me thinking…

Much like a pregnancy, God puts a desire in us, He grows it while we wait. He calls us to be patient during time of growth. Then he births it when the time is right.

We always tend to push things along. I know I do that often! We think we are ready & want it NOW… and what could have been great in Gods timing, is now defected because we rushed it & pushed for OUR timing.

I like the definition of the word defected:

The lack of something necessary or desirable for completion or perfection

With any situation, if we wait patiently on His timing, it will be perfect. Before then there could be complications & incomplete growth.

Its time to come before Him, unguarded, undistracted & be fully present. Stop trying to be in control, open up, let your defense down & let God grow you during this time of waiting. He will do more than you could ever imagine, just seek Him & ask!

Be patient, persistent, but purposeful. 

The process is what we go through to receive the gift

Who was Kat before Christ?

A friend asked me not so long ago “Who was Kat before Christ?”

We were at dinner with lots of other people and I thought it was a bit of an in depth question to answer right then and there, so I spluttered out something that later, I felt very unfulfilled with.

The question came back up when I was reading this morning, and I felt as though God was asking me again “who were you before me?” I took the time to write down who I was then & who I am now…It really made me see how much has changed in my life & how much God has captivated my heart in ways that I didn’t even realize, because I’m so caught up in every day life & learning to walk with Him.

Whether you have walked with Him a long time, or just gave your life to Him…we ALL still tend to forget what He’s done. Sometimes we just don’t allow ourselves to think that deep, we stay surface level, it’s safer… but I’m going to ask you

Who were you before Christ? What has Jesus done in your life since that defining moment of when you truly gave your life to Him?

If you don’t know Christ then I will ask “Who are you?” and do you think you’re missing the mark on who God made you to be? Friend, I want nothing more than for you to know who you COULD be if you knew Christ. God brings out the best in all of us…He made us, so He knows what’s best for us.

I will share my "THEN's" & "NOW's" with you as maybe it will help initiate your thought process.

THEN

I never knew I was loved by God

I was closed off to people

I was lonely even though I had tons of friends

I didn’t know how to show or receive affection

I didn’t believe in waiting till I was married to have sex

I was somewhat wreckless

I wasn’t secure in who I was

I didn’t have joy

I had no purpose

I loved to do for others but was too embarrassed to do it

I was selfish

I was a hard worker but didn’t want to be seen as a “goody two shoes”

I cared tremendously what people thought

I would seek attention, usually from men

I was scared

I was negative

I would stay in my comfort zone

I thought I was loved conditionally

I was shy & quiet

I thought I was “too much to handle” “not good enough” “unworthy”

I would never initiate conversations

I would NEVER be vulnerable

I didn’t trust, and if I did it was always an unsafe person

I didn’t like affection or emotional/romantic ushy gushy things because I didn’t know how to handle it

I never wanted kids or to get married because I thought it was a sign of neediness & weakness to be a “mother & wife” (boy was I wrong)

I thought crying was a sign of weakness

I thought I had to always have it all together

I held onto bitterness & unforgiveness

I wanted revenge for those that hurt me

NOW

I know Jesus loves me

I know I am beautiful the way God made me & I will strive to look after what He gave me

I LOVE to help & do for others & I’m not embarrassed to do it

I can receive a compliment

I’m joyful

I’m content

I have a purpose

I will get out of my comfort zone because I know God will grow me the most there

I’m a reader

I’m a leader (because readers are leaders) ha

I will talk to people I don’t know

I want a family of my own

I am learning that it’s OK to be independent & still be vulnerable

I am learning to get comfortable with affection & accepting words of love from friends & family

I am learning I don’t have to have it together all the time & I don’t have to be tough

I’m an encourager

I know not to stay in discouragement because God has amazing things planned for my life!

I’m not scared when bad things happen because I know God has already allowed it to happen & HE will walk with me through it…

I have a different perspective, I look for lessons in every situation

I’m learning to trust safe people

I forgive because I am forgiven

I don’t hold onto bitterness

I don’t want revenge & I hurt for those that hurt me

I am learning how to give my burdens to God…Jesus died so that I don’t have to carry them (this will always be a struggle)

I can still be selfish sometimes, I’m human, but know now that I need to regain my focus on God and do what He’s asking me to do and put others before myself

I am a hard worker, but I do it FOR Him & to make a difference on this earth like He put me here to do.

My heart hurts for hurting people

I have peace

I want for people to know the love of Christ

I want to wait till I’m married to be intimate. I don’t want to share that with anyone other than my husband

I’m attracted to a completely different type of person

I seek God for attention & acceptance, only He can fulfill me the way I was always looking for

What used to make me happy (or so I thought) doesn’t even have a place in my schedule

I never thought that I’d LOVE to spend a Saturday night reading Gods word rather than going out partying. Some of that comes with age too :)

I want what God wants rather than what I want, He always ends up giving me what I desire when it’s the same thing He wants anyway!

I’m secure in who I am, because I know WHOSE I am…. I know who I belong to & that’s all that matters

I’m not who I was, but I’m not yet who I will be either. I am who I am, because He made me that way and each day He shows me how to grow & be better.

Hope this helps you get started in beginning to see who you are in Christ. :)