Love is a gift

Our relationship with God prepares us for our relationship with a spouse.

It consists of devotion & commitment. It teaches you to learn to search for such qualities in a mate that don’t fade over time, such as spiritual commitment, integrity, sensitivity, sincerity, all these things that will be shown in the time of building a friendship. It includes paying attention to character so that you can build trust. All of which are very different from the world’s superficial standards.

Healthy marriages are a reflection of Gods love for us, and in the bible, Song of Songs represents real human love. It shows how two relate to one another in a loving, committed marriage; in the way God intended it to be.

Like any relationship, the beginning is exciting. Our relationship with God starts out the same, He’s all we want to talk about, He loves us & shows us our infinite worth & value. He shows us His solid character, His loving nature & that He is a stable & solid foundation to build upon. We learn that we can lean on Him when hard times come, and they will.

In Song of Songs 1:4 “We praise your love even more than wine”

SOS 1:9 “You are as exciting, my darling, as a mare among Pharaoh’s stallions “

In these 2 verses it’s showing how love is sweeter than wine, that everything in the beginning is great! That it is sweet & heart racingly exciting. 

But it also expresses that the lady stands out to Solomon & that the same is true for her, in 1:15 she says:

SOS 1:15 “You are so handsome, my love, pleasing beyond words.

Song of Songs is a great example of how two express their love for one another.

In any relationship we should strive to make our love (towards God, a spouse or any person) a reflection of the perfect love that comes from God Himself.

She was insecure about her dark skin- He makes her feel unique & secure by telling her she is a “Lilly among thistles” (SOS 2:2)

He builds the foundation of love by covering her floors & insecurities, making her feel loved & that she is just as she should be.

God makes us feel the same when He tells us that he knit us together in our mother’s womb & that we are fearfully wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)

I read a quote yesterday that was incredibly beautiful…

“Amazingly, Gods grace humbles a woman without degrading her, & His favor lifts her up without inflating her”

The way Solomon treats this lady about her past (working in the fields, that caused her dark skin) is the way that God treats us. He makes us feel whole & loved just the way we are.

He has integrated all our past experiences together to design who we are today. We are like a piece of fabric that portrays beauty on the outside, while all the knots, ties, & gathered bits of fabric are woven together on the inside. We are beautiful because of all those knots & ties that you don’t see.

In the beginning of a relationship is the time, not to get carried away with excitement & passion, but to be paying attention to character…this is where trust is built. Too many people are driven into marriage by exciting feelings of love & passion before they take the time to develop a deep friendship and friendship takes time.

As in all relationships there comes a time when the newness wears off. In Song of Songs 5 verses 2-6 It shows how she had become “cool” to her husbands advances & by the time she changed her mind & responded to him, it was too late, he was gone. Her self-centeredness & impatience caused separation between them.

2 I slept but my heart was awake. Listen! My lover is knocking: "Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night."

3 I have taken off my robe-- must I put it on again? I have washed my feet-- must I soil them again?

4 My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him.

5 I arose to open for my lover, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the lock.

6 I opened for my lover, but my lover had left; he was gone. My heart sank at his departure. I looked for him but did not find him. I called him but he did not answer

Also, in Song of Songs 2:15 it says:

“Catch all the foxes,

Those little foxes,

Before they ruin the vineyard of love,

For the grapevines are blossoming.”

These  “little foxes” are examples of small problems that can destroy a relationship.

Irritations must not be minimized or ignored, but identified so that together you can deal with them. Take care of problems while they are still small. The same goes for the “little foxes” that slowly push you away from God. Don’t brush them under the rug, bring them to Him openly & work through them. Communication is key.

Eventually when marriage begins to lose its sparkle these “Little foxes” will become a source of separation. This is when you remember the sweet time in the beginning. In Song of Songs 2 & 3 they remember memories of their courtship & engagement. Focus on the positive, remember the commitment you made, the excitement you had, the way you did everything together, your spouse’s strengths, remember what attracted you to them to begin with.

Continually work in refreshing one another by encouraging words, unpredictable gifts, change of pace, a surprise call or note. Nothing is more vital than encouraging & appreciating the one you love, by voice & by actions.

In the same way a marriage becomes dry, so does our relationship with the Lord. God is unpredictable, but He is good & always has our best interest at heart.

The faithfulness of our marital love should reflect Gods perfect faithfulness to us.

Remember that love is a gift; you are not entitled to it… Let that sink in for a minute…you are not entitled to it…why would God give you a gift you feel entitled to? 

Therefore when you have it, you must accept it as a gift from God & then share it within the guidelines God provides to enjoy it in its perfection.