Healing in brokenness

Today I went to the TB's meeting at 7am. It's a group of women that meet once a month eager to hear Gods word. Each month we have had the privilege of listening to amazing people like Lysa TerKeurst, Kelly Hubatka, Amy Corbett, Faith Hill. Today we had Lisa Shea. I had no idea what I was in for with Lisa, she talked about Spiritual gifts & I was somewhat guarded but open to listening. I was guarded because I was still on the fence about some of them, she calls them the "uncomfortable spiritual gifts" Things like prophecy, speaking in tongues, healing, & so on. Even though they are mentioned in the bible, you don't hear of them too often in our day. But God still gives these gifts to people. We just hide them because we are too embarrassed of what people will think. Lisa said "When God gives us gifts & we choose not to open them, it grieves Him. He doesn't give them to us FOR US...He gives them to us for others! So that others can see Him through us & have hope."

Well as guarded as I was in the beginning of the meeting, by the end I was balling like a baby, snot running down my nose, tears that I couldn't stop & I felt embarrassed sitting in a room full of women, completely broken without being able to hold it together...AT ALL. To be vulnerable with you for a minute, I have been fighting to get out of a slump. I feel like I have been stuck in a hole for a long time, empty, drained, hardly any energy & just couldn't muster up the strength to get out. I had tried climbing out with all my might & kept falling back in, only digging myself in deeper by pulling all the dirt on top of me. It's a daunting place to be when you feel like you are in a hole & can't get out yourself. 

Isaiah 41:10

"So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

When people around you are saying "Speak it & you'll believe it"  or "go through the motions till you get it back" It just feels more like I'm trying positive self talk to give myself a kick in the rear n get back on track...sometimes that helps, this time it didn't. I had nothing I could say to myself that was helping; no sermon I could preach to myself in the mirror, nothing I could read that was helping; no scripture, no self help book. There was nothing I could DO that was helping, nothing anyone could say to me & no amount of worship music that I sang at the top of my lungs helped. I went to Church every week, I read scripture every morning, I would pray, I would cry...nothing.  I asked my Pastor the other day how he handles it when he isn't feeling it and still has to bring a message to the people every week? He said to me:

"God's truth is still Gods truth, even when you're not feeling it..."

I thought about that for a couple days. It's true, didn't get me out of the hole...but it reminded me that God is faithful, He won't leave me or forsake me, that this is just a season & I will be out of it eventually.

But God :) (My two favorite words) did something amazing this morning... Lisa prayed for people to be released from a crushed spirit...that's where I lost it. I have had such a heavy heart, crushed spirit, stuck soul & not known what to do to get out of it. I have been struggling big time. I had times where I would seek God with everything I had & thought I'd got back on track...and then the heaviness would hit me with a vengeance. It still may...but I feel differently about it this time. I finally felt like this morning broke something in my spirit. There is healing in being completely broken. I am grateful. I'm not sure how God quite heals a spirit... but He does. If someone asked me, I couldn't tell them how. But I just experienced it. His ways are higher than my ways... I will not understand how, when or why He does things...but I'm grateful. 
 I thought that maybe I am going through this at such an extreme measure so that when I hit something tough later down the road I can remember this time & REMEMBER that God IS faithful. I can then pass that hope to others who are struggling. He IS faithful, always has been, always will be. He doesn't change. 

I'm sure there will be ebbs & flows of this season. There is a lot of things God is working out in me where He has only recently scratched the surface. But I will remember that He is faithful & no matter what I'm going through, He will be with me through it, He has purpose in it, & for it...He will not waste it. 

Hebrews 10:23

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for He who promised is faithful"

Are you living your life as an empty shell?

So as I sit here in frustration with why I can't do what I "should be able to do" & after reading a few blogs this morning, God tugs at my heart in the way that only He can do.

I realize (and have realized MANY times before, but somehow keep coming back to this) that I sometimes put so much expectation on my self and set the bar so high by comparing myself to others, or by looking way out into the future & thinking I need to be "there" now. (Which, in running my organization is a gift of vision. In my personal life it's a curse of perfection) I look at those around me & all they have accomplished & expect myself to be at their caliber of expertise. Then try to live like them, get frustrated & beat myself up when I get overwhelmed, can't do it & fail. That doesn't do anything but make me want to not bother trying at all, EVER! When in actual fact, what I'm doing is trying to live a life far past the work God has done in me. That causes the feeling of "being fake" because I am not truly being who I AM in Christ. I am too busy trying to be like someone else, or too focused on putting on a front of who others think I "should be" as a Christian. In reality, I'm just not there yet. Yes God has done some amazing things in my life, I'm not where I used to be... But I'm also not where I'm going to be either.

Isaiah 43:18

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland."

There is much work to be done in all of us & we don't help that process by looking back & staying stagnant in our feelings of never being good enough, never living up to certain expectations (that goodness knows WHO sets for us.) 
Its OK to strive to be the best we can be, put our best foot forward & walk in faith that God can overcome our sin & bad habits. But it aint gonna happen overnight. We will always sin to some extent; we are human, not Jesus! Don't allow that to cause you to put on a show and live as someone you are not in an empty shell in order to please whoever you are standing in front of. Put your mess on the table & allow Jesus to work through it, pulling out the good parts that can be restored & getting rid of the things that don't do us any good. Then it's your choice to "get up and walk" forward, or stay & wallow in it. I am sometimes reluctant to be vulnerable & spend those times with Jesus where He wants to work out my junk...because it's not easy; its downright heart wrenching & exhausting. But the end result is worth it. 

Depending on the situation it's not always about cutting something out of your life altogether either; that would be doing it in your own strength. Its learning to live with it and using that struggle to push you towards Christ & allowing him to mold you and shape you so that your responses come directly from a heart restored by Him & eventually your responses will be sincere & those things that you once struggled with, will fall away. Then, you will look back & realize that you are becoming a new creation in Him.

2 Corinthians 5:17 "This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!"

Take the governor off!

The other day I was told to “take the governor off & be excellent” … I didn’t know what that meant because I didn’t know what a governor was (Other than the British term for boss.) It was explained to me that it’s the device that’s placed on a car engine to prevent a car from going too fast. 
As Wikipedia explains it: A governor, or speed-limiter, is a device used to measure and regulate the speed of a machine, such as an engine.

Two words in that definition stood out to me:

1) SPEED-LIMITER: Those are words that I DON’T want describing my character.

2) REGULATE: God didn’t create us to be regulated… He created us to be free & run the race set out for us!

Hebrews 12:1 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

The things of this world ARE what hold us back. The governors that hinder us from running with perseverance are the materialistic things, emotions towards people & situations, our past disappointments, struggles, addictions, and our inabilities. Pastor Steven Furtick said it best when he said: “What is the thing that holds you back while God is trying to move you forward.” THAT is the governor!

The thing that was eye opening to me was the fact that I had just had a conversation with somebody else the previous day pertaining to this. I told the person that I felt that God had placed this strength inside of me that I don’t necessarily know what to do with, I don’t know how to get it out or even know how to handle it; so I stuff it away & hold it back.

It got me thinking & the question I then asked myself was “so HOW do I take the governor off?”

My answer: Stop following the law & follow me (Jesus) …the law can’t change you. God sent His son, not the law! The law brings feelings of defeat, of never measuring up, and failed perfectionism…God sent Jesus for us to LOVE Him, to be loved BY Him, to keep our focus ON Him. He changes us & breaks the chains. Don’t be held back by trying to reach for perfectionism. Do what YOU can’t do, what scares you, what intimidates you the most. Don’t back away or shyly walk into a situation, RUN BOLDLY, head on towards whatever it is that tries to hold you back or make you want to hide. Ruin the devil’s game of hide & seek! The enemy is counting to 10 while you run around trying to find a place to hide, heart beating, panicking that you can’t do it, won’t make it, aren’t capable, aren’t able, too this, too that…worrying that you won’t find a place to hide before he opens his eyes to come & get you.

God wants you to stand boldly, not hide. He wants you to completely spoil the devil’s game & run boldly towards whatever it is that He puts before you. Don’t allow the enemy to make you cower. God called you to something, trust Him to protect you there. He’s got your back, He has a plan, His outcome is even better than you can possibly dream up yourself. Not saying it will be easy, pretty or even turn out the way you think. My Pastor said today “bad situations that happen to us are not “detours” they are MILE MARKERS”…they are places that we remember Gods faithfulness in our lives, where we get to see Him move, experience His love, comfort, provision, protection & capability. We get to hold on to those moments when we are standing boldly on uncertain ground.

When you stand boldly the enemy will get bored because he has nothing to play. Don’t feed into his schemes…don’t allow him to defeat you, or debilitate you…take the governor off, put into play all God has taught you thus far & watch all that He can accomplish through your unhindered spirit.

SUFFER, SHOW, WAIT, RECEIVE

Today I read through Acts 1-5 & grabbed a few goodies that I'd like to share with you!

SUFFER - SHOW - WAIT - RECEIVE 

Usually the way God works in our lives is through the 4 words written above. He allows us to go through a time of great suffering, which breaks us & shows our need for Him.
At the very pit of our suffering, we see who Jesus is. We are then told to wait for HIS timing...not our own. Two very different things!! We must always pay attention to that. Sometimes we like to jump ahead & think the timing is perfect. This is when we should wait & allow Him to guide us. It is then that we shall receive what He has promised, the power to do as He has called you do to.

Acts 1:3 - "After his SUFFERING...He SHOWED Himself"
Acts 1:4 - "But WAIT for the gift my father promised..."
Acts 1:8 - "You will RECEIVE power when the Holy Spirit comes on you..."

SUFFER-
In Acts 1:9 Was when Jesus had been taken up to heaven & left his disciples. There was some suffering there for the disciples for the loss of their friend. As well as great opposition from those around them who did not "know" Jesus personally, or did not believe Him.
 (Acts 2:13) As followers of Christ we will ALWAYS face opposition. Whenever we are called to step out in faith we will always have people in our lives thinking we are absolute fools for choosing to live our lives for God. Jesus had it, His disciples had it, we will have it! The question is, are you willing to trust that Jesus is who He says He is? That He rose from the grave as Peter explains in
Acts 2:24
"God raised Him from the dead, because it was impossible for death to keep it's hold on Him"

Especially as a leader you will always come up against opposition in whatever it is God is calling you to do or to be.
But one day, those who oppose you, their eyes will be opened. As in Acts 2:23 & 2:37
Peter explained "This man was handed over to you by Gods set purpose and foreknowledge; and you, with the help of wicked men, put him to death by nailing him to the cross"
Acts 2:37
"When they heard this, they were cut to the heart & said to Peter 'Brothers, what shall we do?"

There eyes were opened ready to be shown the miracle of Christ in the next chapter.

SHOW-
Acts 3 Peter heals the beggar & people are amazed at the life change when they see the man walking.
People's eyes were open to seeing the miracle performed in Jesus name by a bold disciple!
Acts 3:8-10
"He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and praising God, they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him."

This goes to show that you don't have to go out and preach the gospel for people to see Jesus. When you meet Jesus, your life is changed & people around you see that for themselves, our job is to give praise to the one who made us new! Peter & John (& the beggar that was healed) constantly gave praise to God for all He had done! The rulers & elders of the people didn't like that.

WAIT -
Peter & John were arrested for speaking about what Jesus had done in & through them.
Thank goodness we have freedom of speech & don't have to worry about that happening to us!
No matter how bad your circumstances look, don't give up! This is the time to trust & wait.
At the time you think it's over, is usually about the time God shows up!  You can't stop Gods hand...even when His best men were in jail, still 5000 people got saved!
No matter your circumstances, Gods plan is always greater!

God usually picks those of us that are ordinary & asks us to do the extraordinary so that He may show off through it , because others are going to know that it's not us who are able to accomplish these great things! Peter & John were very under-schooled, ordinary men but they were willing to be bold & stand in the face of their opposition & live their lives for God, even in jail. While they waited, they prayed.

Acts 4:29
"Now, Lord, consider their threats & enable your servants to speak your word with great BOLDNESS"

They were willing to press on & do as God has called them to do. Not out of pressure or because they felt they "had to" but out of a response for their love for Jesus & because they couldn't help talk about all God had done in their lives & others. They asked for BOLDNESS & showed that they would be faithful to God; and no matter the circumstance they would continue to speak about Jesus & not back down.
This is when they...

RECEIVED-
Acts 4:31
"After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were filled with the Holy Spirit & spoke the word of God BOLDLY"
They received what they asked for in Acts 4:29

God is faithful in fulfilling His promises, if you wait & trust Him.

Whatever it is that God as called you to do, know that you may feel under-schooled, incapable & not able to carry out the task. Know that God will see you through what He has called you to! He will always give what you ask for in His name according to His will. No matter how bad the circumstances look, how inadequate you feel, He's working His plan the way He wants it. You need only to stand...and give praise!

Acts 5:39

"But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God"

Prayer for your husband

For those of you who are married, dating, or even waiting on the future spouse God has promised you, here is a prayer I found that would help you pray in specific ways for him, from head to toe.

Men, you can modify for your wife also.

Maybe you can use it to pray over someone that you are already dating to see if he lines up with what God wants for you.

Lysa TerKuerst also wrote a blog with some great advice. Here is the link: http://lysaterkeurst.com/category/made-to-crave/

It was written in regards to teaching teenage daughters, but you can use it to see if you are on the right track with whom you are thinking about committing your life to.

Lord, I pray for my husband, from head to toe:

•                His Head –That he will look to You as Lord of his life. (1 Corinthians 11:13)

•                His Mind - That he will have the mind of Christ and think as the Holy Spirit would lead him and not the flesh. (1 Corinthians 2:16)

•                His Eyes –That You will keep his eyes from temptation and that he will turn his eyes from sin. (Matthew 6:13, Mark 9:47)

•                His Ears - That he will hear Your still small voice instructing him. (1 Kings 19:12, Psalm 32:8)

•                His Mouth – That his words will be pleasing to You. (Psalm 19:14)

•                His Neck –That he will humble himself before You and be strong, courageous, and careful to do everything written in Your Word so that he will be prosperous and successful. (James 4:10, Joshua 1:8-9)

•                His Heart-That he will love and trust You with his whole heart. (Deuteronomy 6:5, Proverbs 3:5)

•                His Arms-That You will be his strength. (Psalm 73:26)

•                His Hands-That he will enjoy the work of his hands and see it as a gift from You. (Ecclesiastes 3:13, 5:19)

•                His feet – That You will order his steps and that he will walk in Your truth. (Proverbs 4:25, Psalm 26:3)

What is wise?

The greatest difficulty isn’t in choosing between good & bad, it’s choosing between good & best. ~ Experiencing God

Have you ever had to make a decision that felt like the most difficult thing you’ve had to do because what you had to choose between wasn’t anything bad?

Those are probably the toughest decisions for me to make. I pray & pray and get nothing. I read scripture & it could go either way. I go back & forth and end up so confused that I don’t do anything…then I procrastinate & try to put it off & fear stands there taunting me “What if you make the wrong choice?” “What if you regret it?” “What if you are missing out?” what if, what if, what if…

Procrastination builds fear & then I’m sitting there paralyzed by making the wrong choice, that I don’t make ANY choice at all.

Marc Driscoll once said

“No decision is to make the wrong decision”

So what do you do?

It’s easier to move when you think God is asking you to do something…then you just have to build up the courage to take the first step…but what do you do when you feel as though God isn’t answering & is waiting for you to make a choice?

Sometimes God is quiet in those times because He is waiting for you to use the wisdom He has taught you to make a WISE choice before He moves.

A few questions I’ve asked myself as I make this kind of decision.

Is it honoring to God?

A year from now how will this choice effect me? 

Is it a selfish flesh desire?

Or is it something God wants for me?

Is it reckless or wise?

Examine my values & priorities, what’s most important to me? Jesus or “this”

God wants you to take risks & walk by faith not by sight…but He wants you to be wise in doing so.

God is not a carrot dangling God, he is not sitting in a corner tempting you with something great ready to take it away when you make your decision.

Sometimes the BEST choice is the hardest and the GOOD choice is the easiest.

Do you want Gods best for your life? If so you’ve got to be bold & courageous, making Him a vital part of everything you do. Stand for what you stand for, believe & trust that God has gone before you, He already knows what choice you will make & has already got a plan to cover you once you make it.

Don’t procrastinate, push past your fear & do what you feel is the WISE choice.

Proverbs 3:13 “Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding”

Toxic Thoughts & Gods Truths

Who will you choose to believe?

Sometimes our mind gets the better of us, I know mine does much more often than I’d like. Something I want to be able to do is start taking my own thoughts captive and replacing them with Gods truth. Pastor Craig Groschel preached at our Church this weekend about his book “Soul Detox” how toxic thoughts can control you. I know we all struggle with these, not just women, EVERYONE!

Some of the toxic thoughts Pastor Craig listed were

1.     Negative Thoughts

2.     Fearful thoughts

3.     Discontented thoughts

4.     Critical thoughts

I wanted to list some thoughts that may cross our minds, but with a truth to follow. Print them out and put them on your mirror to help you fight the battle and eventually it will become second nature. Those truths will be buried in your heart and God will bring them forth when your mind tries to tell you something different.

Thought: I’m not good enough

TRUTH: For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6

TRUTH 2: The Lord is my shepherd; I lack NOTHING. Psalm 23:1

Thought:  I don’t like my body and feel ugly

TRUTH: I am fearfully wonderfully made, His works are wonderful I know that full well – Psalm 139:14

Thought: I can’t do this

TRUTH: I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength I need – Phil 4:13

Thought: I am so stressed out and worried

TRUTH: So refuse to worry and keep your body healthy. Ecclesiastes 11:10

Thought:  I’m scared to do that

TRUTH: God did not give us a spirit of fear or timidity, but of power, love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7

Thought:  I wish I had a better…

TRUTH: Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. Philippians 4:11

TRUTH 2: Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment. 1 Timothy 6:6

Thought:  I’m just not satisfied

TRUTH: You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11

Thought: This situation sucks

TRUTH: Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is Gods will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Thought:  No one appreciates me

TRUTH: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. Colossians 3:23

TRUTH 2: Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men. Ephesians 6:7

Thought: I do all this stuff & no one notices

TRUTH: Am I now trying to win the approval of man, or God? Or am I still trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10

Thought: No one loves me

TRUTH: For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only son; that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but will have eternal life. John 3:16

Thought: I can’t do it all; this is too much

TRUTH: Now to Him who can do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us. Ephesians 3:20

Thought: I don’t have enough money to give 10%

TRUTH: Honor the Lord your God with your wealth, with the first fruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to over flowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine. Proverbs 3:9-10

Thought:  I’m so stressed out

TRUTH: Don’t panic, I am with you. There is no need to fear for I am your God. I will give you strength. I will help you. I will hold you steady and keep a firm grip on you. Isaiah 41:10

Thought:  I have nothing left; I am empty

TRUTH: He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Psalm 23:3

Thought:  I feel so betrayed; I want to get revenge

TRUTH: He will send help from heaven to rescue me, disgracing those who hound me, My God will send forth His unfailing love and faithfulness. Psalm 57:3

Thought: I don’t ever make enough money

TRUTH: He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves wealth with his income; this also is vanity.

TRUTH 2: Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for He said, I will never leave you nor forsake you. Hebrews 13:5

Thought:  I don’t have a purpose

TRUTH: For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Thought:  I’m too tired

TRUTH: I will refresh the weary & satisfy the faint. Jeremiah 31:25

I read this somewhere & not sure where, but I want to share it with you:

“The most important opinion you have is the one you have of yourself, and the most significant things you say all day are those things you say to yourself”

Not just a healer

God spoke to me pretty clearly this morning… I read a bible study last night and it didn’t mean a whole lot to me…until this morning. Something happened that turned me to lean on God & He reminded me of what I read last night in John 15:11.

I have copied certain sections from the scripture that point out the main parts of the story.

11 Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. 2 (This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair.) 3 So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”

4 When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” 5 Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. 6 So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was two more days, 7 and then he said to his disciples, “Let us go back to Judea.”

14 So then he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead, 15 and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.”

21 “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died.

25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; 26 and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 “Where have you laid him?” he asked.

“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.

35 Jesus wept.

36 Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”

37 But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”

Jesus Raises Lazarus From the Dead

38 Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. 39 “Take away the stone,” he said.

“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”

40 Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”

41 So they took away the stone. Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42 I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.”

43 When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 44 The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face.

Jesus said to them, “Take off the grave clothes and let him go.”

The reason Jesus didn’t heal Lazarus & allowed him to die, wasn’t because He didn’t love Lazaras. It was because He knew Mary & Martha KNEW He could heal…They knew Him as the healer. Jesus wasn’t being hard hearted or selfish to allow Lazarus to die, no, he wanted to wait until all thought it was too late.

Lazarus had been in the tomb FOUR DAYS… to the point that there was a bad odor. Everyone thought it was the end, he was dead & there was nothing anyone could do about it. They got on Jesus because they knew that if He was there, He could have healed Lazarus…so why wasn’t He there?

Jesus wanted to show Mary & Martha a different part of His character. He wanted to show them that he is the resurrection & the life. That He can do what you think he cannot. 

Is there something in your life that you feel if God moved now; in a way you know that He CAN…things would be OK!? And the fact that He’s not, you’re thinking it’s too late… It’s never too late, God wants to show you a different side of Him, He wants to show you that He is the great I AM & He can do immeasurably more than you could ask or imagine! Just wait… My favorite line in this chapter is:

40 Then Jesus said, “Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”

Believe Him, trust Him, come with an expectant heart & watch what He is about to do…

Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets. You do not know about things to come. – Jeremiah 33:3

POTENTIAL

I got a glimpse today of how God must feel when He looks at me sitting in doubt, discouragement & fear; standing in my comfort. Because when I look at people & see the GREATNESS that’s inside of them & then see the place that they live from… I want EVERYTHING in me to grab them by the face & tell them “Look at yourself! Look at how great you really are… you have so much inside of you, EMBRACE IT!!!! Live in it!!!! Walk in it… stop bowing down to fear and letting yourself do meaningless stuff to try and fill that void and just allow Jesus to pour into that hole & make it whole!... “

I think to myself “If only they could see what I see in them…” Then my next thought is… Well God must look at me that way when I think I can’t do something. He knows what He’s placed inside of me, because He created me! Who am I to tell him who I am or am not!? What I can or cannot do!?

Since I have started walking with Jesus, I have allowed others to speak into my potential; I have allowed HIM to be my rock & guide when I feel as though I can’t do something. He did not give me a spirit of fear! He made me to be fearless!!!! My emotions should not control my actions.

Ezra 3:3

“The people who built the alter were afraid of the nations that were around them. But they built it anyway”

…But they built it anyway

That’s a bold statement… They pushed past their fear; they didn’t allow their emotions to control the way they acted. They pushed against what was natural & did the unnatural with the strength of the Lord. He put something in them that if they let go of their fear & keep their focus on HIM, He will use what’s inside of them to accomplish what needs to get done!!!

Our natural tendency is to stay where it’s easy & comfortable… It’s hard to step out of your comfort zone & do something that scares the life out of you…but when you do, God will unlock a place in your heart & free you from a fear that has been holding you back!

Face that fear today, reach inside to grab a hold of that which you didn’t know you had & do what you have never done before…so that God can show you things you’ve never seen before.

You are better than you think you are. 

SO SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THIS SATURDAY!!!! ABOVE IS THE FLYER THAT A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE, ERICA POTTER, DESIGNED WITH THE HELP OF HER HUSBAND!!

As I sit here soaking in all God has done in my life in less than 4 years...I am blown away, it's crazy!
I started out at rock bottom 3 & 1/2 years ago... absolutely couldn't have gotten any worse... and He has restored me, lifted me up to where I never thought in a million years I would be. 

~I am the founder of a non-profit (WHAT!?) 

~I am a part of a phenomenal movement (Elevation Church) right in the middle... and I mean RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE. I get to learn from the best & as intimidating as it may be to be placed in the middle of these people, I am right where I am supposed to be. God is using them to help prepare me for what He has prepared for me! 

~I have the most amazing friends! More than I could ask for and better than I could ever ask for! 

~He has created a team of people for SOUL 139 to walk along side me...and they are incredible! INCREDIBLE!!!!! 

~I even got asked to guest blog on YouAreC13.com ...now 4 years ago...I not only hated reading, but didn't like to journal & sure as heck didn't know how to blog... God has completely given me a new passion to read, soak in knowledge and an ability to put it into words to share with others how He moves in my life. 

~I have the best job & couldn't work at a better salon! I have been there 6 years and still love it like it was my first week. He has given me the gift of cutting hair and I get to go to work everyday to a job that I LOVE.

I AM GRATEFUL

I would love to write a book on my life, coz God would be made HUGE through it... If He can change my life around the way He has done, He can change anybody's.

I was too shy to even talk on the phone when I was 18.... now I get to stand up infront of people and speak.

I used to get nervous meeting new people... now He placed me in a job where I meet new people every 30 minutes...He also placed me in a MASSIVE Church where I knew NO ONE...and when I look around me, realize that He somehow filled my life with amazing people. 

He took me from the lowest of low to the best place I could ever be... and it only gets better! If this is what He's done in less than 4 years...what the heck is He capable of in 10!?!?! 

To all who are a part of this journey with me...I'm glad I get to do this with you & I cannot wait to see how God moves from here on out in your life, mine & those around us!

If you don't have your tickets yet for Saturday...better get them FAST!!! You don't want to miss out on this one!!! We have prepared the way for God to move in a BIG way!!!!! Keep your eyes open!

My competency is in Him

Abram was 100 & Sarah was 90. God promised them a son...people around them probably thought they were crazy and would most likely tell them "God doesn't work like that...that's not realistic"

But God told Abram that He was ALMIGHTY and powerful, that He is God and can do anything... Abram BELIEVED Him and when God came through, it gave Abram the experience to TRUST God and to KNOW God IS almighty and powerful.

God reveals His character to you through scriptures so that you may SEE & BELIEVE who He is so that you can trust Him and step out in faith when He asks YOU to do something. It is then that you will get to EXPERIENCE who He is for yourself and that He will do what He says He will do.

MARK 10:27 “Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking it is impossible; but not with God. Everything is possible with God.”

He reveals his purposes and his plans to you so that you will know what to do. But he doesn't reveal them all at once; or the way you think he would reveal them. If he did, you would no longer need Him.

He wants you to lean on Him to find the way through His plan. It’s HIS plan.

When God asked me to starts SOUL 139 He did not ask "What do you want to do for me!?" He revealed what He was going to do and invited me to be a part.

God will come and speak to you with a purpose in mind...he's not asking you to create some plan...He will tell you what He wants to accomplish and it's your choice to respond to that.

Maybe you have already heard from God, He has told you what He wants to do through you but you are feeling incapable. That is a lie my friend. God would never share with you such an intimate secret of what He wants to accomplish, if He didn’t see the potential in you. He created you. He designed you for this. Protect yourself with scripture when such thoughts occur in your mind.

Satan's Lie: I'm not capable to do this job. I don't have the right gifts. 


God's Truth: Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant. (2 Corinthians 3:5)

Trust that He has you right where He wants you.

He has already equipped you for this job. He will teach you along the way all there is to know for what He is calling you to do. You don’t need to plan it all out ahead of time so that you feel comfortable with where you are going.

In the book “Experiencing God” I read that planning is a good tool, but only when it is motivated by Gods guidance. Our plans often reflect our own priorities and we trust more in our plans than in God.

That blew my mind…because I am a big planner! I plan EVERYTHING! From what time I get up to what I’m going to eat, to what I am doing next week, next month and sometimes 3 years from now. But what about when God wants to interrupt my plans? I reject it because it does not fit in with MY plans, I don’t have room, I’m too busy, it won’t work or it was not what I had intended, it was never meant to go this way, right? Wrong… when you have your long-term plans set in stone and know exactly where you’re heading, you no longer have a need for God.

I read a quote: “Be careful not to plan more than God intends for you to do”

Meaning, leave some wiggle room in your schedule for God to rightly interrupt your life with a surprise mission for you.

He will use you HIS WAY to accomplish HIS PURPOSE, not YOUR WAY for YOUR PURPOSE.

When you hit that wall of doubt (Which you will) & wonder, “did God really want me to do this?” Go back to HIM to clarify what He has told you. Do not depend on other people’s opinions. If you feel God has told you something, proceed & watch to see How He confirms. He will confirm Himself through His word. Remember, His ways are not our ways.

Isaiah 55:8 “Your thoughts are not my thoughts, neither your ways my ways”

I wonder what people’s opinions were about Abram & Sarah when they told everyone God told them they would have a baby. All things are possible with God. 
STAND. TRUST. WATCH & SEE

Seasonal struggles

Sometimes I don’t understand what God is doing in my life… it doesn’t make sense & I think “It’s not meant to go down this way…what are you doing!?” but who am I to tell God how it’s supposed to go down? That’s not my job!

Life isn’t always smooth and easy; it has some bumps in the road and is somewhat of a fight & struggle. I think those are the times that God wants to see if you will put to use what He has taught you in the last season of your life.

These are the times that push me closer to God, because I can’t walk through it on my own. I end up feeling an emptiness that only HE can fill. I feel weak, tired & somewhat worthless… I feel as though I have a few big holes in my soul that are hollow & I’m looking to anything & everything to fill them, but that’s only something Jesus can do for me.

Some days I get that fulfillment, other days I don’t & I think “Is God even listening!? Doesn’t He care that I’m hurting, that I’m stressed out or tired?” The answer is yes, He cares… but until you stop and sit at His feet, He can’t talk to you.

God wants to tell you how He sees you, that you are beautiful & perfect in His image, a prince or princess, His precious son or daughter, that is what you are, no matter what YOU feel about yourself. But in order to hear these things you need to STOP and listen. Look at what He is doing in your life already, look at the people He has placed around you who encourage you & who love you. Even better, what are some things you are grateful for?

Change your perspective & start appreciating what He HAS given you…when you start to look at things in a more positive light, your soul starts to feel more thankful and little by little God fills those empty voids with each glimpse of His creation…of His plan.

As much as you don’t feel like you are where you are meant to be right now…God has you here for a reason, what does He want you to learn from this situation? What perspective does He want you to gain from this circumstance? What steps does He want you to take in faith? Does He just want you to learn to walk WITH Him in a situation? Or to realize that no matter who you are, what you’ve done, the fact that you DON’T (And never will) have it all together, you can still come to Him & He will walk WITH you.

Some of you think you can’t be a Christian because you’re not good enough, don’t have it all together, not worthy or just plain selfish… WE ALL ARE… That’s what Jesus died for, We will never get away from our nature, but loving Jesus means experiencing His never failing faithfulness, the one true love that no one can give like He does & responding to that love by being grateful for all He has done & IS doing in your life… trust Him & allow HIM to fill those gaps.
Remember that you already are and you already have it...now walk in it

You don't have an obedience issue, you have a love issue.

 “When you know Him, you will love Him. When you love Him, you will believe Him & you’ll trust Him, when you trust Him, you will obey Him.”

“You don’t have an obedience problem, you have a love problem”

I stole these two lines from the book ‘Experiencing God’

Sometimes in life we get so caught up in the living in the future (For what’s to come, what we want to achieve, or what we want to get eventually) that we don’t fully embrace where we are now…when we don’t do that, we don’t see God working. Our eyes are too far off in the distance.

How to you expect God to PROVIDE when you won’t give sacrificially?

How to you expect God to PROTECT when you won’t step out of your comfort zone and do something that you don’t feel comfortable doing? Like putting your heart out there to get hurt again…

How can you expect God to show you that he LOVE’S you when you’re not willing to be vulnerable & work through your shortcoming like He’s asking you to?

How do you expect God to MOVE if you won’t let go of control?

  “When you know Him, you will love Him. When you love Him, you will believe Him & you’ll trust Him, when you trust Him, you will obey Him.”

What is He asking you to work through that seems daunting to even bring up again? You’ve been down this road a million times, why does the same thing keep coming up?

Because you’re not allowing God walk it out with you.

He wants to surface it, so you acknowledge it…then He will place you in a situation to give you an opportunity to walk it out, He will be right there with you the whole time, don’t be scared.

Stand and face what you do not want to face.

Someone said to me the other day “Run towards what you fear the most”

God is saying:

“I want to show you something you have never seen before...but you have to be willing to do what you've never done before. 

I will keep bringing situations in your life until you fully embrace one... I want you to walk it out with me... trust me... lean on me, place your heart in my hands.”

Are you willing?

What makes you weak, is also what makes you powerful

“What makes me weak is also what makes me powerful…”

I’m not sure if I got that line from one of Pastor Stevens sermons or not, but it’s been running around in my head for the past few days.

In life, I tend to strive for perfection and nothing is ever good enough. I get mad at myself for failing or not living up to what I think should have happened. I look too far ahead, over think and scare myself out of situations…

I plan & prepare so much that I leave no room to be available when God wants to use me with something unexpected…& I over think EVERYTHING… to the point that I drive myself insane going around in the same circles.

BUT…

What makes me weak can also make me powerful!

My passion & my need for perfection, my ability to see far ahead, to plan, to over think in detail… all are great things for starting my non-profit (SOUL 139)

To have that passionate drive keeps me going to strive for perfection in how I deliver things. To see the final goal that I want to reach for helps me persevere. To plan ahead and be prepared is what keeps things in order and moving. To think about the small details that most forget about is what makes SOUL 139 what it is…these all can be weaknesses when used in the wrong way, but God instilled them as strengths in me when used the way He intended.

What kind of things do you look at as weaknesses in you?  God wants you to see them as treasured strengths that He placed in you

A little oil left in my lamp

The wife of a man from the company of the prophets cried out(complained) to Elisha "Your servant my husband is dead and you know he revered the Lord. But now his creditor is coming to take my two boys as his slaves." Elisha replied to her, "How can I help you? Tell me, what do you have (of value) in your house?" " Your servant has nothing there at all," she said, "except a little oil" Elisha said, "Go around and ask all your neighbors for empty jars. Don't just ask for a few. Then go inside and shut the door behind you and your sons. Pour oil into all the jars, and as each one is filled, put it to one side." She left him and afterward shut the door behind her and her sons. They brought the jars to her and she kept pouring. When all the jars were full, she said to her son, "bring me another one." But he replied, "There is not a jar left." The the oil stopped flowing. She went and told the man of God, and he said, "Go, sell the oil and pay your debts. You and your sons can live on what is left." 2 Kings 4:1-7

I’m going to come at this verse from a different angle than most today.

Often, when this verse is broken down people refer to the oil as finances, love, faith, or some physical need.

I read something this morning about the Holy Spirit being referred to as “oil” and 2 Kings 4 came to mind, as well as an old school oil lamp!

When we are tired, weak, worn out & we don’t have the energy to do what God is asking us to do, that’s when we have but “a little oil left in our lamp” & it’s on the verge of burning out.

I know from experience that when I get to that point, I can just about drag myself out of bed in the morning, let alone have the brain power to sit and read Gods word…and to be quite honest, I just want to lay in bed for a little longer, rather than spending time with God. But He showed me this past weekend when I hit a breaking point that I need to stop, look inside myself and give Him what I do have.

In 2 Kings 4 Elisha asks the lady what she has… “a little oil” she replies… He tells her to go & collect jars (To GET UP & DO something) & then take what she has (A small amount of “oil” = The Holy Spirit) and pour what she has into what she went out to get.

When you take a small step to show God you are willing, He will increase what you do have to where it is overflowing.

The light of my spirit was just about snuffed out, but when I stopped my complaining & whining about being tired, got up & pushed myself beyond what I felt like doing & took that first step to show God that I am willing, He gave me immeasurably more than I could ask or imagine (Eph 3:20)

If you are feeling burned out today & haven’t spent time with God in a while… force yourself to carve out a small amount of time in your day that you can give to Him…so that He can increase your strength & you can press on to what God has call you to do! & as Paul says in Philippians

Phil 3:14  I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.